My early church life began at Oak Hills Church (at the time, Oak Hills Church of Christ) which was a very traditional christian denomination with a large emphasis on acapella worship (everyone in CoC can sing!) international missions, ministry to every age group, and volunteering/serving within the church body. My parents have been members at OHC my entire life and my mom has been on staff for almost 30 years. My mom’s parents are also part of this denomination which probably encouraged my parent’s to choose OHC in their early days in San Antonio. My grandparents are still active members at their church in Lubbock, TX in their late 80s. Of the group that founded Monterey Church of Christ, they are the only two living members. Theirs is a legacy of faithfulness to their church, friends, and city that spans many decades. They’re my parents’ true north and, in turn, my sisters and I!
Marriage and motherhood certainly have a way of highlighting your own selfishness, brokenness, fear, anger, and insecurity. In other words, not until my late 20s did I ever really feel deep anguish, frustration, or uncertainty about myself or the world around me. For almost a year following the birth of my second child, I continued to come back to an image of myself stranded in the ocean. Waves would crash over me but I knew I was never going to drown. I knew God would keep me afloat but I also didn’t know how to come back to shore. As someone who dealt with anxiety from a very young age, it was a time that was really scary and I felt like I didn’t know what the future held. There was a lot of transition in our jobs, homes, lives, friendships, parenting and it was a challenge to feel like God would ever bless me again.
In that season, the steadfast reminder of God’s love was my family. My spouse, kids, siblings, parents and both sets of grandparents were the reminder that God HAD blessed me abundantly and they would be the continued blessing. For many, many years, my focus was on my friendships and I gained much of my identity through being a present, available, “good” friend. During that season of hardship, I saw many of those friendships change which, thankfully, shifted my focus back on Jesus. Shortly after that season, I started studying scripture and the practices of Jesus with a group of women from the Park and they were truly a lifeline. The simplicity of walking as a disciple of Jesus and following then imitating His ways brought more clarity, joy, and purpose than I had experienced in many years as a believer.
God is always refining me and showing me new ways to be more like Jesus. A really common way that has happened in my faith is that I will be reminded of something that I did as a kid, very early in my faith. God will remind me in a way that says, “This was something you’ve always been. Here, this is an early memory of this thing and how it’s good and can be used for my kingdom.” Recently, I’ve been reminded that my humor and honesty as a very young person were probably the beginnings of a prophetic gift that was never really honed. Spiritual gifts, especially anything that could be seen as charismatic, were not discussed in my church. I think that my candor, humor, and straight-forward way of speaking was either seen as offensive/arrogant or dismissed all together. God has been reminding me to build up these disciple muscles as a means of joining him in making all things new.
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